honeymoonin' - koh phi phi - day 4

things to know about vacation:

- my brother got the good skin genes. i curse him and his olive skin. here i sit with a heat rash and sunburn trying not to look like a human lobster. thank allah for aloe vera gel!
- we have an uncanny sense for picking amazing hotels and resorts. with minimal effort. i do not understand these people who still think they need a travel agent. try mixing a cocktail of tripadvisor + orbitz and shake well. it has worked out pretty damn well for us. we went to tong sai bay (in koh phi phi) today and while i'm sure many find it lovely, we were SO READY to be back in our little resort haven. we immediately jumped off the boat and plopped on the beach for a gin fizz and beer. it totally sucks to be us, braving the popular side of the island with the commonfolk. it's really better we aren't staying there. i'd have to gut a eurotrash hipster every hour in order to deal with the place. i'm not up on thai law but i'm quite sure that's frowned upon....despite mike's belief that the resort next to us is "hostel IV" since we have seen a thousand people go in and NOT A SINGLE SOUL leave.
- the room's mini-bar, while pricey, gets less and less elusive as the days go by. today i decided to answer the call of the champagne bottle in our mini-bar. i've been craving bubbles since i landed but have been unable to find a per-glass offer. so screw it, i'll drink a half-bottle myself. as it turns out, that was the best (insanely expensive) half-bottle of bubbles i've had. also, kinda drunk right now.
- outdoor showers effing rule. seriously, i'm not even sure i will be able to go back to showering indoors. there's a certain danger in outdoor showering. like someone will be able to see you. especially if you're my husband who refrains from pulling the curtain down and putting the towels on the rack to cover his bare ass from passers by. i'm sorry, zeavola guests, for the show you got earlier today. oh, you weren't offended? then i'll be requesting payment for services rendered. he's a pretty boy, i know. he can't convert currency or measurements or time zones. but my god, he's pretty. so pay up, suckas!

tomorrow, we're going snorkeling despite my hatred of oceans and seas and the things that live in them. we're even signed up to WILLINGLY swim with sharks. why do i do this to myself? but then the reward for the price i've paid with all the fear i can muster.....MONKEYS. yep, we're going to monkey island where there are promises of monkeys to play with and love and squeeze and call george. maybe. that's what i heard.

and THEN....

the boy is signed up to get not one but TWO spa treatments before we leave this little slice of heaven. i honestly cannot believe this and fear i have created a massage monster. though i guess there are worse things to have created. i mean he's going to need a 'buddy' to go with him on these spa expeditions i expect (read: dream/hope/pray) he'll be going on.